Tuesday, August 26, 2008

FREEDOM...or Sadness?

The long awaited day finally came yesterday. I put both my kids on the school bus, and I was free for eight hours. I felt differently about sending Emma to Kindergarten than I had Jacob.
I don't know who was more excited when Jacob started kindergarten, him or me. When the bus came that first morning, I put him on that big yellow bus he had been waiting so long to ride, and as a turned back to walk into the house huge wave of excitement and freedom flowed through me. I never really looked back. But with Emma, I started to really worry the night before, asking myself such questions as, "Is she really ready for this? Am I really ready for this? just kidding! Of course I am ready! Is she mature enough? responsible enough? She's so Young!" I had to wonder, "Do I feel this way because she's my baby, or because she's a girl, are these all real concerns? Why was I feeling so different about Emma than Jacob?"
Emma was very excited to go to Kindergarten finally and to get to ride the bus with her big brother. As I turned to walk back into the house I decided that I felt both, freedom to be alone for that long, and yet sadness that another phase of my life is coming to a close. My babies are growing up. I'm sure the answer, for me, is not to go have another, but to enjoy each phase as they come.
I got good reports from both of my children when they got off the bus. Jacob said that school was fun and it was a short day, because they had early dissmisal. (they didn't. I guess it's been too long since he was in school.) Emma was excited to tell me that she didn't even get put in time-out. Yeah Emma! We're so proud! And in Emma's defense, she made sure to tell me several times that she needed to take her folder back today. I guess she was more ready than I had thought.

3 comments:

Richelle said...

freedom, sadness, or concern? that is how it was me with Kody (and still is today going into 2nd grade)

Zaehringers said...

Why do our children grow up so fast?
I was sad to see summer come to a close. I miss Daniel when he is at school. Lendl misses his brother too.
So what are you going to do with yourself to keep busy?

Michelle said...

Yea Emma!!!! I thought she would love school and really take to it. I understand the phase thing - it seems like every time I turn around one of my kids has moved on to a new phase.

Why do they keep moving on without me?!! I never feel ready for it to end. I'm with you - you just have to enjoy it while it is happening.