Tuesday, August 26, 2008

FREEDOM...or Sadness?

The long awaited day finally came yesterday. I put both my kids on the school bus, and I was free for eight hours. I felt differently about sending Emma to Kindergarten than I had Jacob.
I don't know who was more excited when Jacob started kindergarten, him or me. When the bus came that first morning, I put him on that big yellow bus he had been waiting so long to ride, and as a turned back to walk into the house huge wave of excitement and freedom flowed through me. I never really looked back. But with Emma, I started to really worry the night before, asking myself such questions as, "Is she really ready for this? Am I really ready for this? just kidding! Of course I am ready! Is she mature enough? responsible enough? She's so Young!" I had to wonder, "Do I feel this way because she's my baby, or because she's a girl, are these all real concerns? Why was I feeling so different about Emma than Jacob?"
Emma was very excited to go to Kindergarten finally and to get to ride the bus with her big brother. As I turned to walk back into the house I decided that I felt both, freedom to be alone for that long, and yet sadness that another phase of my life is coming to a close. My babies are growing up. I'm sure the answer, for me, is not to go have another, but to enjoy each phase as they come.
I got good reports from both of my children when they got off the bus. Jacob said that school was fun and it was a short day, because they had early dissmisal. (they didn't. I guess it's been too long since he was in school.) Emma was excited to tell me that she didn't even get put in time-out. Yeah Emma! We're so proud! And in Emma's defense, she made sure to tell me several times that she needed to take her folder back today. I guess she was more ready than I had thought.